Laugh, Mock Me, I Don't Care

Ah Fabio, bless his heart.

Fabio talks a lot of shit. He barged back into the gossip columns last fall because of a near throwdown with George Clooney at a Beverly Hills restaurant. The incident reportedly began when Clooney accused a gaggle of Fabio's fans of taking his photograph. "This guy, he ate more than he could chew," Fabio says (his English-language phrasing is sometimes awkward: "The yard on the other side is always more green"; "One animal in a man's hand is more than two in the tree"). "He laid a hand on me, so it would have been self-defense if I had beaten him down. I could have fucked him up. Oh my god, I could have beaten the shit out of him. I was so pissed off." According to Fabio, Clooney called his dinner companions—who'd won the date at a charity auction benefiting the California Highway Patrol—names. "Bitches, even badder words," he recalls. "So I go over and I'm like, 'Listen, I will fuck you up.'" Fabio claims that Clooney then shoved him. At six three and 230 pounds, the former Italian-army paratrooper is hard to budge. "Right then, I could have knocked him over and beat him," he says. "I could have punched him in the face while he was on his back. That's how you really hurt someone—their face can't amortize the punch so it takes, it takes the whole impact."

Man I would have killed to have seen Fabio poke Clooney in the chest and say, "I will fuck you up." Hysterical!

Taken from the February 08 issue of Details.

Funny how cover boy Zac Efron has on less makeup that he does in his day to day life here, and looks a thousand times better. Normal even. Is that even him?